Thursday, December 26, 2013

Baby Loss

This morning, we went for our 3-week post laser surgery ultrasound checkup, and the 1-week post amniopatch follow-up ultrasound. 

The good news is that the amniopatch seems to be holding, as evidenced by the fact that there was very little fluid remaining between the membrane and the uterine wall. We will need to go back in another week to see if there is further improvement. 

The heartbreaking news is that Baby A, the former donor, has passed away. He still had a heart beat six days ago, at the ultrasound 1 day after the amniopatch procedure, so he must have died sometime between then and today. He was doing well after the laser surgery, as far as having a visible bladder and building up amniotic fluid in his formerly completely dry bag, as well as the fluid levels surrounding the brain normalizing. But he had not been gaining weight as he should have been, a result of the fact that he only had about 20% of the placenta, and a velamentous chord (which means his cord was attached only to the very edge of the placenta, and mostly attached to the membrane, with the blood vessels then going to the small share of placenta he had). In the end, Dr. Elliott feels that this was just not enough to sustain his growth at this stage in the pregnancy. 

Because of the laser ablation to separate the babies' blood cycles, Baby A passing should have no negative implications on Baby B as far as survival. Without the surgery, statistically chances were Baby B would have bled out into Baby A, without blood returning to him, resulting in the death of both babies, or severe brain injuries to the surviving twin. So we are thankful that our chances of having Baby B survive are looking very good.

We are also thankful for all the love and support we have received from friends, family, and people around the world. I will not be updating the blog much for the time being, as I sit down to write the many thank-you cards I want to be mailing out, and also finish writing the missing parts of my "Diary of a Twin Pregnancy." This post today marks my 1000th post on this blog, and believe me, it's not what I had in mind to share. 

Please keep our family in your prayers. The other children are, understandably, devastated as well, and dealing with the news in their own ways. We are thankful to God who has blessed us with all the children that we do have living with us today, and for knowing that His will is what is best for all of us.



Baby B and Baby A - looking alike even on ultrasound. 


Job 3:13 For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should have slept: then had I been at rest,

14 With kings and counsellors of the earth, which build desolate places for themselves;

15 Or with princes that had gold, who filled their houses with silver:

16 Or as an hidden untimely birth I had not been; as infants which never saw light.

17 There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary be at rest.

18 There the prisoners rest together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor.

19 The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his master.

63 comments:

  1. So very sorry for your loss. May God bless you with extra strength in the coming days. We will continue to pray for your other twin.

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  2. Zsuzsanna,

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I pray for peace for you and your family in this trying time.

    Laraine

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  3. I am very sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.

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  4. :( You and your family are in our prayers! I am so sorry for your loss :(

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  5. I am so sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for all of you. Lean on the Lord for strength during this difficult time.

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  6. I'm so sorry you have lost your little Baby and pray God comforts and sustains you, and grants you a smooth pregnancy from now on.

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  7. Sorry to hear of your loss. I just lost our 4th at 20 weeks. Remember King David in 1 Samuel...prayed for the baby and was in mourning until he sensed the baby had died and then got up and went about his business and everyone was amazed that he did that to which he replied (paraphrased) "I shall go to him but he will not come back to me". I'll keep you in my prayers - your pain is very real and very hard in spite of our faith. God is still on His throne and still in control.

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  8. Zsuzsa, I am so very sorry.

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  9. I am so sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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  10. Oh no. So, so sorry.

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers will continue to be with your family.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss, and I know no words can be of comfort. Just know that there are many people thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

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  13. We are terribly sorry. Weeping with you friends. In our prayers. Thankful for both babies and glory to God for both lives. Love to you all.

    The Argons

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  14. I am sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  15. I am so sorry to the Anderson family.

    Out of curiosity, do you know why the baby died? 13.6 cm is the normal measurement for a 20 week baby so he certainly was growing well! How sweet that they were both the same size and had such similar faces.

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  16. So sorry to hear this. We will continue praying for you and the family.

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  17. You and your family are in my prayers. I know it's very difficult for the children. We lost a baby at four months many years ago. It's heartbreaking. God's grace is sufficient in and through all things.

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  18. Soooo sooooo sad. I'm so sorry at this devestating news. My heart hurts so I can only imagine whar you are feeling. I'm still praying for all of you! ♥

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  19. I am so sorry for your loss. I went through this 2 months ago (only had one baby in there though) so I know what you are going through right now. Praying for peace and for rest. Take time to grieve and let God sustain you during this difficult time. Praying for all of you!!!

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  20. so sorry about the loss of your baby. Praising God for your other baby. You will meet him again one day and it will be joyous. When you have a family like yours, I can only imagine how devastated the siblings are. You and your husband have created something wonderful here on earth.

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  21. So sorry for your loss, I hope with all my heart that your surviving twin continues to improve and that your children, and you, are able to find peace.

    Sincerely,

    An FJ hag

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  22. Not the way I was hoping your precious baby's story would end on this Earth. Grateful for a Christmas season to remind us of the beautiful things in life and of our Saviour. Lots of love and well wishes to you and your family.

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  23. Im so sorry for your loss.....

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  24. I cried reading your update. Please know you and your family are being prayed for regularly around here. May 2014 be a year for miracles and blessings for you all.

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  25. Dear Zsuzsanna, Pastor Steven and children,

    I am heartbroken for you all. Your(s) blogs are the most important to me of any others. Zsuzsa, you have gone beyond the call to be able to update us during such an incredibly intense time in your lives. Though I will miss hearing from you so-o-o much, you will be back, stronger than ever, updating us and we will just continue to pray for all during this tender heart wrenching time.

    Thank you Lord Jesus this family knows and loves you and you will comfort them all.
    God bless you Anderson Family,

    I am adding another love offering to the Pitchin to help with the additional expenses. I love you all!



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  26. I'm sorry for the loss of one of your babies. That has to be difficult.

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  27. Oh, Zsuzsanna, my heart breaks for you. I have had two miscarriages, and am unable to bear children. The loss is something only God can fill. I will pray most earnestly for you.

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  28. Sorry for your loss :( praying for you and yours

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  29. So sorry to hear, praying for other twin and a safe pregnancy and delivery x

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  30. So very sorry to hear this. Praying for you.

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  31. My heart breaks for you, hoping for your comfort in the fact that all little ones go to be with Jesus. Continued prayers for your family and the pregnancy.

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  32. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure this is a very difficult time for you and your family. My husband and I have been praying daily for you all. Praise the Lord modern medicine has made it possible to save Baby B, and we hope all continues to progress well with him.

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  33. My "surviving twin" is almost nine and it still hurts. Take care, and I am praying for baby B to grow strong and healthy!

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  34. I am sorry for your loss. May the God of all comfort and grace hold you in this time.

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  35. Hi Zsuzsana, about the kids-- Your public library might have some good books for discussing death and grief with kids. The kids' books can sometimes be useful because they bring up questions that young kids may have but not know how to articulate. I imagine you'd want to pre-read them all first, to make sure they're in keeping with your religious views. But even when you don't agree with the answers supplied, just knowing about the questions can be useful. Sometimes kids wonder about really concrete stuff (like, "Where is the baby's body now?"); sometimes it's more spiritual (e.g., "Is the baby in heaven?" "What's heaven like?"); and sometimes it's stuff we probably wouldn't even think of ("Did the baby die because I misbehaved?"). Best wishes to you and your family as y'all sort everything out.

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  36. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you all.

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  37. So sorry for the loss of your baby

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  38. :-( So sorry for the loss of your baby. May God give you the grace you need, and the strength to get through the rest of the pregnancy for you other sweet babt.

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  39. Oh my heart is just breaking for you... know that you are being thought of by so many people who read your blog. Praying for God's peace and love during this hard time.

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  40. I'm so sorry Zsuzsa! I'm only a phone call away if you should need me for anything at all. I will pray for your continued strength and Baby B!!

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  41. We are praying for you as well...Praise God that one baby is still alive and thriving! Some things that you can do to help with the loss of your baby is to definitely name Baby A and even hold a little memorial service/funeral. I have enjoyed reading about your family for many years now and Pastor Anderson has changed my husband's and my life forever. I don't know why but bad things happen to good people all the time, for no reason at all...It is just life. We have to trust God. Hang in there! "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, and to them that are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

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  42. Zsuzsanna, I'm just devastated to hear this, as I'm sure you and Pastor Anderson and the rest of your family are, too. Thank God that sweet Baby A's passing will have no effect on his brother. I'm know you're hurting right now, but you and your family are rich with faith and love that should carry you through it. We're praying for you during your time of grief and hope for only the best for you in the days and weeks to come. Take much solace in the fact that you will be reunited with him in the world to come. Much love to you and God bless you, Pastor Anderson, and the rest of the children. Mindy

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  43. I am so sorry. I have been reading and praying and will continue to do so.

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  44. Zsuzsa, words can't express how sorry I am. There just aren't the right words. You're in my prayers as I've said before. I wish I were close enough to hug you. My heart breaks for your loss. I pray God's grace and mercy can help to sustain you during this tragic experience. All my love to you, Pastor and the kiddos.

    -Kimmie

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  45. So sorry for your loss. We will never understand why we are given such a wonderful gift just to have it taken away so fast but we can cling to the promise that we will see our babies again. Draw close to each other and even closer to God, He will carry you through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  46. I am so sorry. Continuing to pray for you and your family.

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  47. Words can't say how sorry I am for your loss ,it just broke my heart to read this post , I will continue to pray for you and your little boy .

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  48. So very sorry for your loss.

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  49. I'm praying for you and your family

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  50. Liebe Zsuzsanna, es tut mir schrecklich leid, dass dein Kind gestorben ist! Mein herzlichstes Beileid. Ich kann mir gar nicht vorstellen wie sich das anfühlen muss. Du bist so stark, dass du dennoch, trotz all dieser Belastungen, weiter deinen Blog updatest. Ich hoffe und bete, dass es jetzt keinerlei weitere Zwischenfälle bei deiner Schwangerschaft gibt und das zweite Baby gesund und munter zur Welt kommt!!

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  51. I couldn't be farther from you ideologically speaking and I actually came to your blog to hate read, but I really am sorry for your devastating loss and genuinely hope with all my heart that everything works out for you.

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  52. I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

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  53. I am so very sorry for your loss!!

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  54. I am so very sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Though we do not see eye to eye on a lot of issues, I've still been praying for you because that is what I would want someone to do for me regardless of my opinions. I will continue to do so and I hope that everything goes well for the next twenty weeks! I am also pregnant, 7 weeks and have had a first trimester miscarriage which was rough enough. Take care

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  55. What a difficult year. My prayers continue to be with you. I pray that you will all feel the loving arms of our Savior holding you as He sustains you. It will be a joy to see your precious son whole and healthy again in Heaven, I am just sorry for the wait until that moment.

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  56. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I know you all loved this precious baby.

    Carolyn Bassett

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  57. Continuing to pray for you, the rest of your family, and especially for little Baby B. May his word continue to strengthen you all... Sweetens

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  58. Dear Andersons,
    I am too very sorry to hear about the lost of one child, it has to be a really hard time right now. I too have a brethren in Philippine who did lost both his 7 months child and also wife because of very poor conditions of that country in medical care. May the Lord JESUS the Christ who is the Omnipotent God send Graces and understanding beyond our earthly limited scope understanding.
    ---------
    Take comfort in the clear writings of:
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    Deut 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that +++love him+++ and keep his commandments to +++a thousand generations+++;
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    John 1:13 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, +++but of God.+++

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